If you are wondering how to build a spiritual friendship for your life, this article will hopefully give you the information you need! We’ll talk about what is involved in a spiritual friendship, how to make a lasting spiritual friendship (all the secret ingredients), and frequently asked questions about friendships. We’ll also look at the spiritual quotes on friendship in the Bible.
If you have many friendships but feel that some of them may be dysfunctional, be sure to read the secret ingredients to a spiritual friendship so that you will know how to address “problem relationships.” I’ve had many friendships that didn’t last for one reason or another, but many have stayed constant. That doesn’t mean they are the healthiest, though!
If you are ready to learn more, buckle up because it may be a bit of a bumpy ride! It’s not always easy being a friend to certain people. If you ever wonder why some people don’t have friends, get to know them, and you will soon discover why.
However, just because you have difficult people in your life doesn’t mean you can’t be a good Christian friend to them! So, let’s get started!
Table of Contents
What is a Spiritual Friendship?
A spiritual friendship is a relationship rooted in Christ and centered in Christ. It’s a great relationship between two people with many similarities. Often, these two people have similar interests, life goals, and motivational forces.
The friends look at finding love through spiritual means, not worldly means. They love church and love God. Typically, both individuals want to make it to heaven, so they are doing their best to uphold the word of God as brought to us by the life of Jesus Christ.
What’s also great about a spiritual friendship is that you can pray for and with each other. You know that during the highs in life, you’ll have someone to rejoice with you, while during the lows in life, they’ll encourage you through counsel and prayer. It’s beautiful how you can inspire one another through the way you live your life and the way you demonstrate your faith.
If you are particularly close to one another, you might worship God with one another, read the Bible together, and go to spiritual events, like Celebrate Recovery, with each other. You may feel close enough to your Christian friend to do these things together or perhaps that’s how the two of you connected in the first place. Notice the many benefits you experience by having this friendship.
How to Build a Spiritual Friendship that Lasts
Be a Godly Friend
You should be able to show your Christian friend your true colors. The question then is what are your true colors? Are you truly a godly person, or do you just act that way around certain friends? Make sure you are true to yourself and to God when you are around other people (or alone, for that matter)!
Whether your friend is having good times or bad, you should be praying for them and with them if possible! When two people pray together, it can be a powerful thing! Together, you can move mountains, while alone, you may have felt somewhat weak in the presence of God. So, one part of being a godly friend is praying with and for your friend – no matter what.
Another part of being a Christian friend is working through the tough stuff. It’s never easy having a “falling out” with a good friend or having someone “blame you” for something that happened a decade ago, but nevertheless, it happens. The best thing you can do is apologize for your wrongdoings and pray about your friendship to the Lord.
Ask God for intervention in your friend’s heart and to allow him or her to forgive you for anything you did to mess up the friendship. Once you’ve done those things, you really can’t change another person. Like the Serenity Prayer says, “accept what you cannot change.” You cannot change another person; you can only change yourself and how you react to things.
While it’s great to be there for your friend when you are having a great time, it’s also crucial to be there when you are needed – when times aren’t so good. You may enjoy having good times and doing fun stuff together, but when the going gets rough, you need to be able to advise your friend of wise counsel.
If you think your friend is headed down the wrong path, you need to speak up. You may find it uncomfortable to give advice when it isn’t warranted or asked for, but if you are a true friend, you need to be honest about what is going on. Your friend counted on you when times were good; now, you need to show that you are there to give great advice when things are hard.
Sometimes, with spiritual friendships, the opposite can be true. It’s easy to rely on a Christian friend when times are hard because you want to ask them to pray for you. It’s kind of a natural flow in the rhythm of a Christian friendship, but you also need to turn to your spiritual friends when things are going well.
You should be there for them even when you don’t need them to say prayers on your behalf. Share your good times with them. I’ve had many friendships that were full of prayer requests, but it would be “weird” for me to ask them over to help me clean out the closet or just to chat over coffee about what’s new in my world.
I think a lot of Christians can relate to either scenario – having friends who are there for you during the good times only and having friends who are there for you when you “need” a friend. There should be a healthy balance – a friendship that has both elements in it.
Be a Good Listener
A crucial part of being a good friend is listening like a pro! That means that you allow your friend to speak without interruption. You might think about what relevant follow-up questions you want to ask while he or she is talking, but for the most part, you should just be paying close attention. I know that your brain thinks faster than your friend speaks, but you’ll have to slow it down.
Take the time to get a clear picture of what your friend means when he or she talks. Imagine how you would feel if you were in their shoes. That’s called empathy, and it’s a crucial part of any relationship. Care about what is being said as if it were a problem going on in your life instead of in the life of someone else.
Once your friend is done talking, you can ask any relevant follow-up questions you have, provided they keep your friend’s feelings in mind. You don’t want to ask questions that have nothing to do with the problem but are instead just out of your own curiosity. That means you are only paying attention to the conversation as a means of entertainment or gossip.
I have a friend who does not have a high degree of emotional intelligence. In other words, she does not listen to my mood, my tone, my content, or my meaning. Instead, the moment I stop talking and gasp for air, she jumps in with a question that has nothing to do with what I just said. It’s clear she doesn’t listen to what I say; instead, she just wants to talk about what she cares about.
Friendships like that may stay together because you love each other, but you don’t really like or care that much about the other person’s feelings. I know this friend loves me, but I’m not sure if my emotional well-being matters to her because the conversation always drifts away from what matters most to me.
An equal partnership is what you are looking for – one where you both give and take in a conversation.
Related: How to Become a Better Listener
Be Honest and Loyal
It’s crucial that you are loyal to your friend. That means not stabbing him or her in the back. You don’t want to be a Judas – the one who betrayed Jesus. Watch the gossip; I know that it’s very tempting to talk about other people behind their backs, especially if you are in the middle of an argument with them, but keep those lips sealed.
If you need counsel on other friendships, you can ask a wise person what to do if you keep your friend’s name out of it. There’s no reason to splash another person’s name in the mud. Just keep the conversation anonymous.
Also, don’t forget to be honest with your friends. This can be a rather difficult thing to accomplish if you are trying to smooth things over with a friend or have a rocky past with a certain individual. If your friend is an emotional trainwreck, being brutally honest may not be the best thing to do. It can be a very tricky situation.
You shouldn’t lie to your friends, but you may have to carefully word the truth if there is something you must say to your friend. I have a friend that allows her emotions to run her mood instead of the other way around. She allows the slightest hiccup in her day to upset her, so I must be careful when speaking to her.
It’s never a great idea to walk on eggshells around someone, but if you must, tread carefully. Try to stick to pleasant topics and do your best to be empathetic to his or her point of view. If they truly make you miserable, it may be time to distance yourself from them, so you can find friends who are healthier to hang around.
Encourage Your Friend
Be positive and uplifting. Of course, if you are going through a hard time, you don’t need to “fake it” or anything like that, but if your friend is having a rough time, be sure that you are there to comfort him or her. Show them that you care by how you treat them. You may want to practice emotional intelligence here to best understand what your friend is feeling.
Emotional Intelligence occurs when you are able to recognize the emotions in others and in yourself. If you are talking to someone and you are aware of their emotions and how that affects you, you probably have a great deal of emotional intelligence. What’s great about emotional intelligence is that when you master it, you can control how you react to things.
This allows you to keep a lid on your emotions. You won’t fly off the handle when you hear some unexpected news or when things don’t go your way. If you are a hothead, you may not have a strong amount of emotional intelligence, but this is something you can work on.
Spiritual Friendship Quotes in the Bible
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
Some friends don’t help, but a true friend is closer than your own family.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.
The sweet smell of incense can make you feel good, but true friendship is better still.
This is why you must encourage and help each other, just as you are already doing.
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad.
Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.
Jonathan thought as much of David as he did of himself, so he asked David to promise once more that he would be a loyal friend.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
A friend is there to help in any situation, and relatives are born to share our troubles.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I make spiritual friends?
One of the toughest parts about making Christian friends is finding them! You can meet people at church, Bible studies, Christian events, Celebrate Recovery, prayer meetings, spiritual retreats, church events, and things along those lines. Also, consider turning your existing friends into Christian friends by sharing your faith.
Can you be spiritually connected to a friend?
You can definitely be spiritually connected to a friend! If you and your friend pray for one another, share your faith, go to church together, and/or hit some local Bible studies together, you are spiritually connected. You have a bond based on God – one that cannot easily be broken!
How do I find my spiritual community?
As mentioned, some of the best places to meet spiritual individuals include church events, prayer meetings, Bible studies, Celebrate Recovery (a Christ-centered recovery group), and Christian events like Christian concerts. Always be open to making new friends because you never know when or where a new friendship will begin.
What is a soulmate friendship?
A soulmate friendship is someone you are able to share your soul with, your deepest secrets with, a person who you can tell all to without getting any judgment for what you said. This is often thought of as a best friend, the person you are most intimate with, the person who possibly knows you better than you know yourself. That’s the type of friendship that will last a lifetime.
How do you create deep, meaningful friendships?
The most important thing is to be true to yourself and your friend. If you pretend to be someone you aren’t, you will not build a spiritual friendship that will last a lifetime. To create a stronger friendship, be open and honest with your friend about who you are, what your hopes, dreams, and aspirations are, and how you want to live your life. Be you.
Now you know how to build a spiritual friendship for your life. Hopefully, you will soon have deep friendships you’ve built over the years.
If you have lots of friends, where did you meet them? Have you been to Celebrate Recovery small groups, or did you meet at church? I’m sure my readers would love to hear all about it. I know that I would!
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