Why It Is Hard to Make Friends as an AdultAre you having trouble making good friends? Do you wonder why it was so easy when you were younger but not now? Here are a few of the reasons that finding a real friendship is hard to do.
- We have different priorities today. We value work and family more than fun, typically!
- We are so busy with work and our family life that we just don’t make time for friendships!
- We are all different people with different habits, hangups, and interests. It’s hard to find someone who likes the same things!
- We just don’t want to put forth the effort. It takes hard work to develop close friends!
- We are worried we will be rejected by other people if we try to make new friends!
- We don’t go out to new places often enough to make friends!
- We need to make finding and keeping friends a priority!
- We need to make time to build and grow friendships!
- Our differences are what make us unique!
- We need to brave the waters and step outside of our comfort zones!
- Rejection is part of the game! We must endure and try anyway!
- You can make plenty of friends online; just get to know those people better!
Why You Need Friends
Friends are like the chocolate chips in cookies. They may just seem to be sprinkled throughout, but really, they are the best part! When you develop true Christian friendships, your life will be blessed abundantly.
Here are the top reasons you need friends, starting today.
- Friends support you through the ups and downs of life!
- Friends are there for you when you are at your worst!
- Friends are good for your health!
Yes, having a dearest friend can be beneficial to your health! Research has shown that friendships can reduce stress, improve sleep, and reduce the chance of disease.
What Is a Christian Friend Like?
While having any friends are beneficial to your life, finding people in the Christian community to hang out with, people who believe in the same things you do, Christian friends can enrich your life even deeper!
A good Christian friend will pray for you when you are having issues. Likewise, you can add your dear friend to your prayer list, as well.
You also have someone to share your faith with and talk about spiritual matters. If you are having difficulties, a Christian friend can provide spiritual guidance that comes straight from the Bible.
Whether your friends are Christians or not, a good friend will listen to you when you talk, have an opinion when you need advice, and care about your well-being.
Where You Can Meet Christian Friends
The most obvious answer if you are wondering where to meet Christian friends is at a church or spiritual event, but what about Christians who do not have a church home? Or what if you already have plenty of Christian friends at your church?
There are new places you go to meet Christian friends. Hit your local nail salon, beauty parlor, tanning salon, bookstore, library, or coffee shop. Sure, the tanning salon isn’t the best environment to start up a conversation, but you get the idea.
If you know of a local Bible study or Christian concert, you should definitely check those out!
I found one of the best places to meet Christian friends is Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered recovery program for anyone with hurts, habits, and hangups. They follow the same 12-step process that AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), but with a Christian focus. You don’t have to be an addict to attend!
The way my local Celebrate Recovery group is structured is to have dinner, a large group with praise and worship, a small group for individual issues, and a fellowship afterward. They also have step studies, the Serenity Prayer, and many other awesome features!
See if you can locate a Celebrate Recovery group near you. It’s a great way to meet and make Christian friends that last a lifetime!
You can also meet people online through social media. Make Christian friends worldwide by getting on people’s blogs and commenting or popping over to a social networking site.
Friend the people who are friends with your Facebook friends. Many people will accept these invitations, and then, you can take the time to get to know them through their Facebook page. After you’ve liked and commented on some of their posts, go ahead and send them a direct message, following the next steps!
If you get invited to a social event or holiday party, make sure you GO – even if you do not want to. That’s the best way to meet other people – just say YES! If you get asked to an Avon party, go!
If these options don’t sound appealing to you, enroll in a community college course or check out what your local library is offering by way of a book club or something like that. You might even try the Meetup application!
Another idea for meeting Christian friends or good people, in general, is by volunteering. Doing volunteer work not only gives you the opportunity to meet giving people, but you also get to be inspired and uplifted by what you are doing. Find the right volunteer opportunity for you.
- Volunteer at an animal shelter or dog or cat rescue group to meet like-minded people!
- Join a craft group at your local yarn shop or church! You can knit hats for charity or pet blankets for the Snuggles Project, which supports local animal shelter dogs and cats.
- Hit your local food bank or soup kitchen and meet benevolent volunteers there!
- Volunteer at your local soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or hospital.
Remember that you don’t have to volunteer just around the holidays! I know that’s probably when you are most inspired to give back, but you should consider doing volunteer work all year!
How to Make a New Friend (A Step by Step Process)
Meeting new people and turning them into friends isn’t an easy process. True friendship takes a long time to build. Like a house, you can’t expect it to be built overnight.
Let’s go over the steps you need to take to find the greater love that you can only achieve with a best friend!
1. Determine what your interests are.
You’ll want to go places that encourage your passions and interests. What do you love the most in life? If you are a knitter, hit your local yarn shop. If you are on fire for candles, go to a Scentsy party! Go where other like-minded people will be.
2. Step outside of your comfort zone.
Once you have gone somewhere new, you need to put yourself out there and be somewhat outgoing. The whole world doesn’t need to revolve around you, but you’ll want to show that you are open to new conversations with new people. Be sociable!
3. Be easy-going when you introduce yourself.
You’ll want to be breezy when you make an effort to exchange contact information. Just give out your cell number or social media contact information, and say you wanted to keep in touch. If you have a business card, simply drop it off. What’s easier than that?
4. Follow up with your new friend and make plans.
Be open when you follow up with your new pal. Make them feel comfortable. Maybe offer to take them bowling instead of meeting for coffee. There’s less pressure there for small talk if you are open to trying something fun like that. What would your friend enjoy?
5. Enjoy conversing.
Be an equal talker and listener. Make sure you listen intently and offer insightful feedback when your new friend tells a story or expresses a concern. Be open to the conversation, and have topics planned out in advance that you can talk about.
6. Be a good friend.
Really take the time to get to know the other person. What are her values, dreams, hopes, and aspirations? Don’t overwhelm her with questions, but really understand what makes her tick. It won’t happen overnight, so make an effort to stay in touch over time.
Tips on How to Be a Good Christian Friend
Friends will be honest with you. They will tell you what they really think of your decisions. One of the most important things you can do as a friend is to listen and be there, offering feedback when appropriate.
There’s more to being a good listener than just hearing what the other person says. You need to listen in an empathetic way as if you were the one talking. Then, when appropriate, ask follow-up questions and offer insightful feedback or advice, if applicable. A good listener doesn’t hear the message; he feels the emotions and feelings the other person is expressing.
One way you can become a better listener is to learn about emotional intelligence. Check out the video in the article on emotional intelligence by Mind Tools. She explains exactly what it is – the art of being in tune with one’s own emotions and those of others. It’s a powerful subject!
Remember to always be yourself; never pretend to be someone you aren’t. The truth will come out eventually!
Be open to new experiences, too. Everyone is different. Your friends will be different from you, and that’s okay. Don’t judge them for being unique! That’s what makes them special.
To get even more valuable tips, check out social media posts on friendship, friendship podcasts, or videos that give you tips on how to make friends easily.
Christian Friendship Quotes
Here are a few Christian friend quotes for you to enjoy.
What Does the Bible Say About Friendship?
Some of the best scriptures on friendship in Christianity say that being honest to one another is a sign of friendship (Proverbs 24:26), friendship is better than incense (Proverbs 27:9), and gifts can be signs of friendship (Genesis 33:10).
Proverbs 18:24 says that a man of many companions may be ruined, but a friend sticks closer to you than a brother.
So, what do these Bible verses about friendship mean? They mean that we should be giving and honest with each other. Friendship is intense and will bring you closer to a person than you ever thought was possible.
I enjoy writing encouraging letters to soldiers stationed overseas, and one verse I send them to offer motivation and encouragement is Proverbs 27:17, which says that as iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another. I think that it is uplifting for soldiers to get letters that make them realize they are not alone out there.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says that you are better off having a friend than you are alone because life is more enjoyable that way. If you fall, your friend can lift you up. If you fall with no one around, you are in trouble.
In the gospel of Jesus Christ, we read about how Jesus treated his friends and how they treated Him. Jesus really treated both believers and nonbelievers as He would a friend. He called them friends, and He considered His apostles to be His friends.
The true definition of friendship is also spelled out in the Bible. John 15:13 tells us that there is no greater love than someone who would lay down his life for his friends. Jesus laid down His life for all of us so that we may have eternal life with Him in heaven! We should love one another in the way that God loves us, according to 1 John 4:19.
Just remember that God is a fair god. He’ll remember how we helped people on Earth. We are part of God’s Kingdom, and He won’t quickly forget the love we show for one another, according to Hebrews 6:10.
Matthew 5:25 encourages us to befriend our enemies. In Matthew 7:3-5, we learn not to judge others because we have flaws! 1 Colossians 3:13 says we need to deal with each other with compassion and forgive freely!
John 5:44 encourages us to follow the Lord, not just our friends. While 1 Thessalonians 5:11 teaches us to encourage each other and build one another up, and 1 Thessalonians 3:12 tells us to love each other, we need to realize what is most important – our relationship with God, our Father in heaven.
If you’d like to do more friendship Bible studies or Bible devotionals on friendship, I encourage you to check out the free friendship Bible studies offered by the Bible app.
If you are wondering how to find Christian friends, hopefully, you now have some direction. You can make Christian friends by just being yourself and going where people like you hang out.
Even better, you now know how to make Christian friends through a step-by-step process. We’ve talked about why it’s hard to make friends, why you need them, what a friend really is, and where to find one.
We’ve even covered tips on how to be a good Christian friend, Christian friendship quotes, and studied Bible verses on friendship. Do you have any questions??
I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment!
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