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How to Encourage Someone (What You Need to Know)

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It’s not easy lifting someone up if you don’t know how to encourage someone the right way. If you are searching for the skills needed to encourage others, stay tuned because today’s article is going to be perfect for you.

We’ll cover the many benefits to encouraging someone, how to do it right, exactly what to say to cheer someone up, and some encouraging Bible verses and other valuable resources that you can use!

If you are ready to learn how to encourage someone, make sure you read this article, as it is a comprehensive guide for encouragement and inspiration.

You’ll learn everything you need to know today with a little extra sprinkled in there, so get ready!

How Do You Encourage Someone?

The best ways to encourage someone are being positive, spending quality time together, and reminiscing about the good times you’ve shared. Don’t try to “fix them;” instead, listen with the true intent of understanding. Talk about their strengths and achievements, and be sure to acknowledge their feelings through emotional intelligence and sincerity. Pray together for further encouragement.

The Benefits of Encouraging Someone

Did you know that when you lift someone else up, you are gaining many benefits? There are many intrinsic rewards that come with encouraging another person, so you should definitely consider doing it.

1. You may find you have a new purpose in life.

Often, “our calling” in life comes when we least expect it. If you help one individual, there’s no telling where the path may lead you.

We gain our sense of calling in life through many things, such as our thoughts, actions, intuitions, instincts, reactions, emotions, and feelings, according to Oprah.

We often get those good, fulfilling feelings after we help people out, which helps us in the karma department.

2. You may find greater happiness.

According to U.S. News, doing acts of kindness or random good deeds for others may actually make you a happier person.

Count your blessings once a week or keep a gratitude journal. Doing things like this could increase your happiness in infinite amounts.

Don’t you get warm fuzzies whenever you help someone? You know, those goosebumps you feel on your arms because you did something good? That’s kind of a “physical symptom” of happiness!

3. You may find more meaning in your life.

If you are able to encourage someone, you know you matter and are making a difference. Understanding that your life has a great deal of meaning, whatever it may be, can improve your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth.

4. You may be able to improve your health.

Enjoy having lower blood pressure! According to the National Institutes of Health, volunteers experience high blood pressure 40% less than non-volunteers.

Plus, according to Scientific American, one study showed that volunteers had less stress than those who did not volunteer in their free time.

5. You are building your friendship.

Making real adult friendships and building them into long-term relationships isn’t an easy thing to do, but if you want to be a good friend, you need to encourage your friends when they are down. Wouldn’t you want your friends to do the same for you?

Having a friend is an important part of life! Part of being a good friend is being there when your friend needs you; it’s all puzzle pieces that make up lifelong friendships and keep them growing strong.

How to Encourage Someone

1. Don’t minimize their hurt or fix the unfixable.

Don’t compare yourself or a situation you’ve been in with the person you are offering encouragement to. That just minimizes their feelings.

I’ve known many “toppers” in my life – people who have “always” had it worse than me. When I break my arm, that’s nothing because they’ve broken both their arms before. It’s a losing battle.

Remember that some people don’t want to feel better, as strange as that may sound. Some people are more comfortable with chaos, pain, and misery because that’s what they are used to. It may be that every little thing you try won’t make a difference if the person doesn’t want to be encouraged.

In situations like that, where your friend wants to be discouraged, you should just give them space and stop trying to lift them up.

Unfortunately, they may just bring you down if you spend more time with them and their misery. You can listen, keep your mouth shut, and just empathize, but don’t try to “fix” anyone that doesn’t want help.

2. Listen intently.

Listening is truly an art – something most people don’t fully understand.

First, a great listener gives the talker his or her full attention without any distractions or interruptions. I know this sounds crazy with people checking their cell phones every few seconds, but if you want to show that you are paying attention, give your complete attention.

If your friend doesn’t want to talk about the issue or problem, ask questions – probe them for the details without being invasive. Ask for clarification on any issues you didn’t understand fully when you recap what has been said. Only do this after your friend is finished talking; you don’t need to interrupt them.

how to encourage someone - hands holding heart of flowers in pinkShow open body language, where your arms and legs aren’t crossed, and you make eye contact. This demonstrates that you are there for your friend and happy to continue listening to whatever they have to say. You can also show open body language by nodding your head when appropriate and leaning forward as your friend speaks.

Minimize fidgeting or acting bored in any way, as this is a clear sign you aren’t paying attention. If the material is boring, find a way to pique your curiosity and interest in the subject.

Ask meaningful questions to learn more about it; it’s especially relevant and appropriate to ask follow-up questions once your friend has finished talking.

Show that you have clearly listened and not just heard what was said. There is a difference between hearing and listening.

Listening involves understanding the message the speaker was trying to convey, the emotions behind the tone of voice that was used, and the context of what was said.

All of this takes practice, so don’t try to be an expert listener overnight, but do try your best to care about what the other person is saying.

3. Take them to a positive, fun event.

If your friend has been moping around the house for days or even weeks, it’s time to get him or her out and about. Hit the mall; do something fun! This may brighten his or her day in ways you never believed imaginable.

If you want to be uplifted, you should try going to a Celebrate Recovery meeting. Listening to a testimony or lesson on addiction or overcoming a battle can be quite motivating and rewarding, even if you don’t have an addiction!

4. Accentuate their strengths and achievements.

Everyone loves compliments! Shower your friend or whoever you are trying to encourage with compliments. This will uplift them and motivate them to keep going.

Don’t you love hearing about what others think you do well? It’s great to hear positive affirmations from someone else. Lift your pal up with words of encouragement.

Talk about their positive qualities, their strengths, the things they do well, and their most noteworthy talents.

Then, you can discuss how you know they will get through this rough patch because of their skills and talents in certain areas.

Explain what you know they’ve overcome in life and how proud you are of them for being so strong!

5. Acknowledge their emotions.

Have you heard of emotional intelligence? It’s basically where you are able to recognize your emotions well and control them.

Many people do not have a strong sense of emotional intelligence; in fact, most people do not even know what emotional intelligence is. If you have a great deal of it, you are also able to recognize emotions in others.

You can be more empathetic when encouraging people because you see their side; you understand why they feel the way they do, which means you can comfort them easily.

It’s definitely a concept that’s worth learning about. Once you can control your own emotions with ease, you can empathize with others easily, but it all takes practice and time.

One way you can show emotional intelligence or awareness is by recognizing the feelings your friend has or what the person you are comforting is expressing through his or her actions and words.

After you’ve listened and comforted your friend, be sure to follow up with sincere, kind, and comforting words – something meant to ease their pain and suffering. Get some clues from my letters of encouragement to prisoners.

6. Talk about what they’ve overcome.

A great way to comfort or encourage someone and build them up is by complimenting them on what they’ve achieved in life.

If you recognize their triumphs, they will likely think, “You’re right! I am a lot stronger than this. In fact, I CAN overcome this!”

Let them know that you are proud of them and believe they will get through this.

7. Pray with them.

Many people say they will pray for you when there’s a problem, but how many actually do it? Well, that’s hard to say since we don’t spy on other people’s prayer lives. Instead of promising a prayer in the future, why not pray with your friend right now?

If they aren’t especially religious, you could ask them if it’s okay if you pray with them right now. Most people won’t turn down that request if they are suffering from pain of any kind. I know even when I felt the furthest away from God, I would still let people pray with me because I thought, “how could it hurt?”

If you are a beginner to prayer, just remember that you don’t have to be formal or perfect with your prayer. Learning how to pray is as simple as just talking aloud to God about what is on your mind. Just lift your friend up in prayer by saying something like this.

Lord, We humbly come before You and just ask that You be with my friend to help her during this difficult time. Wrap Your arms around her right now, letting her know that You are always here to comfort her and ease her suffering. Please, keep her strong and help her see the light at the end of this tunnel. Amen.

8. Be positive and supportive.

If you aren’t at the most positive point in your life, you can still comfort someone else, but ideally, it’s best to be supportive when you are feeling supported yourself. If your problems are just as big as your friends, you may have a tough time easing their pain. I’m not saying not to be there for them; just watch the cross-talk.

It can be easy to spread misery if you are feeling bad about yourself. However, joy can be just as powerful and contagious as misery, so if you can put yourself in a good mood before you reach out to your friend, you’ll have a much better chance at success!

Some of the best steps to being more positive include:

    • Throw negativity out the window (There’s always a bright side)!
    • Keep a gratitude journal (Count your blessings).
    • Understand that positive attitudes are choices (You can turn your day around).
    • Realize that you can control your reactions to things (The Serenity Prayer comes to mind here).

9. Offer sound advice.

It’s a good idea to give your friend encouragement and the best advice you know of. If you don’t know a solution to their problem, don’t offer one. There’s nothing worse than someone who tries to solve every problem when you aren’t looking for a solution; you just want to vent about the problems you are experiencing.

In other words, if you have the perfect solution, offer it to your friend, but don’t be pushy. He or she may just want to talk, not solve the problem.

Some people just need to get their thoughts and feelings out. They don’t necessarily need guidance; they may just want someone to smile and say that everything will be okay.

10. Provide them with honest praise.

It’s important to inspire your friend or person you are trying to comfort. Let them know the things you believe they do well. Explain that there are many parts of this situation that they have handled well.

Be honest with your praise, as that is the best way to show sincerity and build trust. Also, you can justify your answers if you are honest.

Encouraging Words for Someone

I believe in you and know that you will triumph over this hurdle just like you have done in the past. You’ve astounded me with what you have overcome so far in this life; you’ll succeed here, too.

You will conquer this because you are a smart, competent person who doesn’t let anything stand in your way. You’re a warrior who can overcome the biggest battle on earth!

No matter what happens, remember that this too shall pass. While this moment may be unbearable, it will eventually be a faded memory.

I admire how strong you are as a person and have complete faith you will overcome this. You have the capabilities and skills to get through this with flying colors. Just hang in there.

I know this is hard, but you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever known, and you can do anything you set your mind to. Have the faith in yourself that I have in you.

Encouraging Bible Verses

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you, and when you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

Isaiah 43:2

Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.

Psalm 55:22

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord, your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.

1 Peter 5:7

More Encouraging Resources

1. Shower them with kindness.

If you’ve been trying to find the perfect way to encourage someone, but haven’t heard it yet, consider taking a page (or day, as it may be) out of the current month’s Free Random Acts of Kindness Calendar.  This free resource is jammed packed with ideas on how to show acts of kindness, which may be exactly what your friend or companion needs right now – a dose of kindness!

2. Share some motivational quotes with them to earn a smile.

Sometimes, people just need to hear the words of a great leader to get their frown to turn upside down. Here are a few examples from another free resource of mine, Free 35 Motivational Life Quotes Download.

"The harder the struggle, the more glorious the triumph. Self-realization demands a very great amount of struggle." -

- Swami Sivananda

"Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing."

- Lawrence Bossidy

"It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief, and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."

- Muhammad Ali

"You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need."

- Mick Jagger

3. Don’t be “discouraged” from encouragement.

Becca Eller is a Christian first-grade teacher from Illinois, and she has graciously shared a short video with us to illustrate why we need to give life to people and not forget to share kindness! A fearless leader, this girl loves to give back and share her faith!

She believes that you should breathe life into other people and encourages you to always be kind! She even hits on what the Bible says about encouragement! Check out this two-minute video for more information! It’s awesome, and I’m blessed to share it with you!

Conclusion

You now have all the building blocks to know:

  • How to Encourage Someone
  • Why You Should Encourage Someone
  • What to Say to Someone to Encourage Them
  • Encouraging Bible Verses
  • Other Valuable Resources to Help

 

Are you ready to encourage someone now? What obstacles are standing in your way? Do you have a friend that needs to be uplifted in prayer?

I’d love to hear from you! I’ll even pray for you and your friend. Just leave a comment or reach out to me and send me a message, and I’ll be happy to lift you up in prayer!

It would truly encourage me if you would share this blog post on social media. That way, others can learn how to encourage someone! You never know; maybe that someone will be you!

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