Do you suffer from jealousy of someone or something? Maybe you want to learn how to avoid jealousy so that you can finally move on with your life. Perhaps you are just tired of wishing you had what someone else has. It can be a difficult journey if you don’t know what to do.
Fortunately, this article is dedicated to helping you avoid jealousy with fifteen different ideas. Maybe someone is jealous of you, and you just wish it would stop so that you don’t have to worry about making an enemy with that person. Either way, it’s a tough situation.
You can still read the suggestions offered in this article to see if you can relate to how the other person might be feeling. Empathy leads to understanding, and when you understand why someone feels the way they do, it’s an easy circumstance to deal with.
Read on to find all the details of some great suggestions that just might change your life.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. – James 3:16
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How to Avoid Jealousy (15 Different Ideas)
Some of these ideas on how to avoid jealousy will apply to you if you are constantly wanting what someone else has. They could also apply to you if you are someone others are jealous of. Either way, this is worth the read.
#1. Accept and admit how you feel.
If you join a 12-step recovery program like Celebrate Recovery or AA, you will learn the value of this first step. You must see where you are, what you are thinking, how you are feeling, and how it might be affecting others. A realization of your current circumstances will help tremendously.
In this case, you need to learn how to avoid jealousy because you are envious of something or someone. When you feel a sense of jealousy, you can journal your thoughts and feelings to later examine what you are going through. This is how you can accept and admit how you feel.
#2. Use social media as motivation to change.
This might sound counterintuitive because, for the most part, you should probably avoid social media if you want to know how to avoid jealousy. However, if you stay on social media and continue to see things that make you feel jealous, it can be a motivator.
When you see someone else who has what you wish you had, use some of the other tips in this article to aid in healing your jealous feelings. For example, remember, we all have issues. They might smile and look perfect, but they have problems just like every other soul on earth.
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. – Proverbs 14:30
#3. Talk it over with someone.
Speaking to a mentor, pastor, counselor, or another trusted individual can be greatly helpful. I would suggest that you find someone with your values. If you are a Christian, find a Christian mentor, a Christian counselor, or a Christian friend. This can be very beneficial.
Just talking things over with someone you trust can unburden you. Think about what prompted your jealousy, and explain that to them. Ask them to pray with you about the matter, if you are religious. Inquire about any suggestions, tips, or ideas they might have to solve the issue, too.
#4. Avoid the person.
Maybe your beautician, pastor’s wife, or co-worker’s best friend is the person you are jealous of. It can be difficult to avoid the person if you see them on a regular basis, but you can certainly try. Sometimes, when you avoid a trigger like this, the negative feelings easily go away.
#5. Adjust your wants and/or goals.
If you are jealous of someone because they are better at a sport than you, maybe switch sports. Sometimes, we have to face the fact that we are not the best at something and be okay when others are better than we are. If that’s important to you and you find it hard, try something else.
#6. Examine your strengths and weaknesses.
Doing a SWOT analysis might seem silly in your personal life. (It is typically a business tool used for strategic analysis.) If you are unfamiliar with SWOT, it stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. You can make a chart or list of these things.
When you have on paper these things as they currently affect your life, you can better assess which areas to focus on and where to take a step back. If you are a skilled typist but a terrible conversationalist, you might focus on an office job over a sales-type position.
As you examine where you are strong, you can use this information to better adjust your wants and/or goals. Maybe you are a strong swimmer, but just can’t keep up when running. Perhaps switching from your running group to a swimming team would be a good idea.
The point is, if you focus on the areas where you are strong, you will likely be less jealous of people because you are at the top of the game. Additionally, remember that you do not have to always be number one at everything you do. Being the best is not the goal in life.
Humility is a key factor in human growth. If you are humble, you can see someone doing something better than you and say, “They are skilled at that. I am happy for them.” The more you practice humility, the easier it will be to act in a humble way toward others.
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. – James 3:14
#7. Pray for your desires to change.
You might think, How is this different from making changes or adjustments in my wants and/or desires? Well, those things are of this world and not guaranteed. God is Almighty and can do anything in this world and beyond this world. You are not, however, guaranteed what you want.
Let me unpack that a bit. When we pray for what we want, we are often selfish. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We are told in the Bible to pray about everything and to pray continually, so He wants to hear it all, but that might not align with His Will for your life.
God promises that He works all things for the good of those who are called according to His purpose – those who love Him (Romans 8:28), so just know that He will keep your best interests in mind regardless of the outcome of your prayer request.
If you track your prayers, you will see how evident God’s faithfulness is. I often write my prayers in a notebook, and when applicable, write down God’s answers to my prayers. If His answer was a NO, I would write that down also. It’s good to see what His answers are.
If you start tracking your prayers, especially on a long-term basis, you will see how God has worked all things out for your good. It won’t be black and white, but continue to pray, and your relationship with Him will be stronger. This will help you hear His answers more clearly.
#8. Pursue your hobbies.
Remember to do the things you love. If you are talented at woodworking or knitting, spend more time doing that than you did on social media or spending time with the person you feel jealous of. Loving your hobbies can be a great distraction and help you grow in a new way.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13
#9. Embrace this trial as an opportunity for growth.
Often, we experience problems. We were not made for an easy life. Instead, we were promised trouble, but take heart because Jesus overcame the world. He went through the same struggles and defeated the enemy, and so can you. Take up the Armor of God.
Remember, God cares for you and will not put anything in front of you that you cannot handle with Him on your side. Pray about the matter, and trust that He is using these trials to grow you. Don’t give up, and don’t think you “can’t” do something. Believe in yourself!
#10. Distract yourself.
When you are tempted to hop on social media to see what this person’s latest posts are, thus triggering your jealousy, don’t. Instead, watch a fun movie, go to the park, head over to the library for some great free books, or take a cooking class. It’s great to distract yourself.
#11. Go for new goals.
Often, when we go for a goal, we are extremely motivated, at least at first. Maybe you have set out to read 100 books in a calendar year. This would be quite an achievement, and think of all the knowledge you would gain from reading. You are totally pumped to do it, right?
The reason you are so enthusiastic is that this is a new achievement to aim for. It’s probably something you have never done before. If you follow the advice of distracting yourself, I can hardly think of a better way to do it than to reach for a new goal!
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:21
#12. Build on your gifts and talents.
If you want to truly know how to avoid jealousy, you must understand why you are so unhappy that you are comparing yourself or what you have with someone else. It might be prudent to work on what you are good at, like the gifts and talents that God has blessed you with.
When you realize how talented or gifted you are, you will likely feel more pleasant when you think of who you are and what you can do. Your self-confidence will grow more and more as you develop these things. Working on yourself can be a rewarding opportunity.
#13. Realize they have problems too.
If you are jealous of someone because of their looks or talents, remember that they also have problems. Maybe their appearance seems to be flawless, but their relationships are damaged. Perhaps they have many children while you do not, but they long to be a good wife.
The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him. – Nahum 1:7
#14. Be happy for others.
Once you’ve accepted the fact that all humans are flawed, you can be happy for others. The Bible tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.
If we are to love our enemies (the extreme classification of people in our lives), how do you think we should feel about those whom we are jealous of?
Another thought is that often people with extreme talent or beauty are flawed for just that reason. Maybe no men will date them because the men find them intimidating. Perhaps you admire how smart they are, but fail to realize their brains have impaired their social skills.
The point is, we all have problems, and we should just be happy for others. In other words, don’t wish you could walk in another’s shoes when God gave you the ones you have. Their unseen problems could be extremely worse than what yours are.
#15. Pray for them.
The last point concludes perfectly here. As mentioned, we are told to pray for persecutors. If we pray for the worst people in our lives, should we not pray for those we are envious of? Pray for what you cannot see in their lives, for the struggles you know nothing about, and their losses.
Conclusion
What did you learn about how to avoid jealousy and move on in life? Which suggestion or idea sounds most doable or interesting to you? Which will you implement first? We’d love to hear all about it, especially as you embark on this new life without jealousy! Leave a comment!
Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. – John 14:1
