Do you have an enemy or frenemy? Do you think someone strongly dislikes you? What are you to do when someone hates you?
First, you must think about whether it is truly hate. Often, people feel jealous or envious but don’t really hate a person. Second, there will be cases when someone hates you, so what should you do? Finally, you may wonder, how can you best deal with someone like that?
In this article, we are going to cover some clever strategies to deal with situations when someone hates you. With these top strategies, you will come out ahead. If you are the individual who hates another person, we’ll talk about that, as well.
Is It Really Hatred?
It’s not true that everyone hates someone. There are haters who may secretly hate someone, but not everyone feels this way. Look for the signs that this is true hatred before panicking. Maybe you are upset because you hear the worst gossip being spread about you.
Maybe you just have the wrong perspective about this individual. If your opinion is that this person has no respect for you, has hurt you, or has decided you are someone you aren’t, it could mean they loathe you. Wait to make sure of this before coming to any conclusions.
According to Collins Dictionary, hatred is defined as being a very strong feeling of dislike toward something or someone. This feeling of animosity is never welcome because it means that someone finds you loathsome. Who would want that?
Since mindreading is not an option, you must decide if this person truly does hate you or if you are just being paranoid. If it is true hatred, consider implementing the suggestions found in this article on what to do when someone hates you!
How to Deal with Someone Who Hates You
Basically, when someone hates you, as a Christian, you have a choice; you can either stand firm or run away from the problem.
Attacking the person after they have attacked you will not solve the problem. In fact, it will just make things worse. You don’t want to stoop to their level.
The kind of person who hates is not really worth the real estate in your head. In other words, you should forget about them (if possible)!
A patient person shows great understanding, but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness. – Proverbs 14:29 (HCSB)
Depending on the situation, you might be able to stand firm and avoid making things worse. In all cases, you will want to stand firm when it comes to your beliefs or your faith. The Bible encourages us to stay steady regardless of the circumstances that we must face as Christians.
So, how can you stand firm AND run away? Well, we aren’t suggesting that you dodge your problems and find new unhealthy ways to cope, but there are cases when you can avoid the problem and/or person by just not being around them. Let’s look into this a bit more.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. – Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
Tip #1: Avoid this person.
Remember, you can’t change another person; you can only change how you respond to their actions or words. If you find it healthiest to use the technique of avoiding them, go for it! There’s nothing wrong with avoiding people who bring you anxiety and stress!
However, even avoiding people comes with consequences. For example, maybe you were invited to go out to a party, but that person will be there. Therefore, you have declined. Now, you are wondering what all your friends were up to and what was said about you while you weren’t there to defend yourself.
Even troubling thoughts about potential gossip or slander can lead a person to anxiety and anguish. Try to keep your mind busy with something else to avoid this pitfall. Watch a great movie or television series, or even read your Bible – distract yourself while you avoid this person.
Not all circumstances allow us to avoid people, however. There are always times when we must be around certain friends and family members. If this sounds like the situation you are in, consider using one of the other suggestions listed in this article.
Another option is to avoid them at the event you are attending. For example, perhaps you are at a Christmas party, and your aunt is there – someone who hates you for whatever reason. Excuse yourself to the bathroom, go to another room and visit with others, or keep busy in the kitchen!
Sometimes, especially as active young adults, we must be around people we don’t want to be around. It’s all just part of life, unfortunately. Make the best of the situation and try to have fun!
Tip #2: Stay busy.
Another suggestion is to distract yourself by doing something else with people who love or like you. Staying busy will help you avoid this negative person and their ulterior motives! Join a new Bible study group, invite a group of friends over for a good time, or visit a relative you haven’t seen in a while.
Consider distracting yourself by hanging out with Christian friends. Building on your existing Christian friendships will give you a safe haven from the gossip of those individuals who hate you. Just be careful not to participate in gossip yourself, as it can bite you in the rear end!
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)
Tip #3: Avoid gossip.
It’s SO easy to hop on the gossip train and get “All Aboard!” You want to tell other people at the office or wherever all about this negative person and how they are treating you! That is gossip, and it’s a sin, so just say NO! Hop off the train and walk away from temptation!
As you try to figure out how to best deal with this hateful person, you can turn to your support group – your Christian friends and family – to get their sound spiritual advice on what to do, but don’t talk about this person just to gripe and complain.
Do everything without complaining and arguing. – Phil. 2:14 (NLT)
Tip #4: Don’t let it get to you.
We cannot control other people, but we can control how we react to them and how they affect us. It’s not an overnight thing or something that comes easily to most people, but just try your best to not allow anyone else to ever negatively affect your life!
As Christians, we need to be strong and have self-control when bad things happen to us, even if the things are as small as someone not liking us. Practice patience, and when other people hate you, you can just turn the other cheek.
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. – Matthew 5:38-39 (ESV)
Tip #5: Try to be friends.
Treating your enemy as your friend will definitely make your interactions different. Smile, and just pretend their insides aren’t so ugly. It’s never easy, but it is possible to fake it till you make it (or until you can get away from this person and be around pleasant people).
Treat them the way you wish they would treat you, and things will turn out differently. If you treat them better than they treat you, they will soon have an attitude adjustment or become speechless upon your response and new demeanor.
Do to others as you would like them to do to you. – Luke 6:31 (NLT)
Tip #6: Find out the root cause of the hatred.
There are times when we don’t realize that we have unintentionally done something to harm another person. If possible, find out what has caused the hatred so that you can rectify the situation. It may just be a misunderstanding.
If you are unable to find the answer from the individual you believe hates you, consider praying for God to open your heart and mind to the possibility that you’ve contributed to this problem.
Even if you can’t apologize or rectify the situation, you might be able to figure out the root cause, which might bring you a great deal of peace. Sometimes, having the answer is all we need to feel at ease. It brings us calmness, peace, realizations, and solutions!
If you don’t receive that answer and have prayed about the matter, consider turning the issue over to the Lord. Trust that He will resolve things in His way. In other words, let it go; there’s nothing more than YOU can do about it.
Read more about how to pray for those who hate you if you do not know what to say. That article has prayers you can use when you don’t have the words.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. – Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)
Tip #7: Don’t lose control of your emotions.
We often react to situations rather than being patient and understanding. The correct thing to do is to pray, asking for peace and calmness to wash over you. As you are blessed with patience, you can then ask God to help you come up with the correct response to your circumstances.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. – Romans 12:12 (NIV)
Don’t react immediately, though. Take your time in coming up with a response that you are proud to own. You will always be thankful that you did not react harshly and instead took a moment to formulate a well-thought-out response.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. – James 1:19-20 (NLT)
Tip #8: Look at the plus side.
Remember, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. For every negative circumstance, there is a lesson to be learned. It’s not always easy to see, but once you have conquered this problem, you will be a stronger person because of it.
You might learn that this person is not a trustworthy friend, that certain people just need to be prayed for, or that you should choose your friends more carefully.
Tip #9: Turn to those you trust.
If you are dealing with a person who is full of hatred, you may need to be around your Christian friends, people who can guide you on a godly path. Turn to your support system – the friends and family members you trust to help you come up with the Christian way to respond to such situations.
If you don’t have a support system or yours is lacking in some way, you should look into Celebrate Recovery (CR). You don’t have to be a recovering addict to benefit from CR, and you WILL find support there that lasts a lifetime.
Related: Who is CR For? (The Shocking Truth)
Tip #10: Let it go!
When things aren’t going the way you had hoped, and disappointments are abundant, just try to remain peaceful. Make the most of your circumstances, and pray that God will help you get through this in the best way possible.
It’s never easy to just forget things that were said or done to you spitefully. You want to tell the world about this negative person; you want to gripe and complain to anyone who will listen.
If your circumstances are beyond your control, you must rely on your faith; trust God. He will know what to do and will guide you in your actions and responses. He can help you cultivate a great deal of patience so that you can deal with your enemies.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. – Romans 12:14 (ESV)
Tip #11: Pray for this person!
Saving the best solution for last, you know that prayer will give you positive results. Prayer has been proven to help people in their lives. The best thing you can do is pray when someone hates you. If you don’t know how to pray, don’t worry; it’s not very difficult.
Here are some examples of How to Pray for Someone Who Hates You. Practice praying these prayers when you are at a loss for words about how you are being treated.
Pray over their hearts and souls. Ask God to soften their hearts and love you as God Himself loves you. Talk to God about what you are feeling and the insecurities you are experiencing. Letting it all out will help you cope with stress and anxiety.
Also, talk to the Lord about what you are dealing with. Pray for patience and understanding in this situation. Ask for self-control as you deal with these difficult circumstances. When you put God in control of this problem, the results of your prayer may shock you!
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. – James 5:16 (NIV)
Related: The Life-Changing Benefits of Prayer
What to Do When YOU Hate Someone
Prayer is a great option if you feel hatred toward someone, but are you sure that it is the way you feel? It may be a temporary feeling that you think you feel because of a specific incident or circumstance, but is it true hatred?
The best option is to pray that God removes any spitefulness and negative feelings toward this person from your heart. Ask for pure motives in your prayer life so that you can be honest with God about what’s bothering you.
Ask God to clear your heart of hatred and negative emotions. Think about the blessings you have in your life, and thank the Lord for those. Request that your blessings be brought to the forefront of your mind when you have negative feelings toward another person.
When you pray, ask for forgiveness for hating anyone and consider reading Galatians 5:22-23, which discusses the fruit of the Spirit – the moral portrait of Christ. Write these verses down in a place where you can read them daily. Then, work to emulate these traits in your daily life.
If you are strong in one area, ask God for strength in the areas where you are weak. Write these things down, too. This way, when you pray, you will know what to say.
Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7 (HCSB)
As you build the traits you were once weak in, you will begin to see the hatred in your heart melt away as you become more and more like Christ in your spirit. It sounds hard to do, but if you give it a shot, over time, you will see it is an attainable spiritual goal!
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you stop hating someone?
Realize that the feeling of hatred is entirely a choice. You can choose not to hate someone by not allowing them to ruin your day, for example. Often, when we are kind to the people we dislike, we come out ahead. You may not be able to turn them into a likable person, but you can change your point of view and choose to be accepting and understanding.
What is a good reason to hate someone?
If you found out your husband was having an affair and had been lying to you for months or years about it, that would be a pretty big sting. I think temporary feelings of hatred would be warranted in that situation, or at least a great deal of grief and pain with any initial emotional reactions you might have had.
What do you do when someone hates you for no reason?
If someone hates you for no reason, you should talk to them to try to resolve the situation. Usually, when hate is involved, it’s due to jealousy, insecurity, or misconceptions. If it’s really bad, you might find it beneficial to speak to a qualified mental health professional. These successful people often have insight into tools, tricks, and techniques you can try.
How can you tell if a person hates you?
If you have feelings of inadequacy or insecurity when you spend time with a certain individual because of the “constructive criticism” or because they know how to push your buttons, you might be dealing with a person who hates you or who you hate! It’s not easy to deal with a hater, but if you believe someone hates you, you might be on the right path. Our guts have insight!
How do you act nice to someone you hate?
There’s a great saying, “Fake it till you make it!” If you must interact with this person, you can pretend you like them; treat them as if they were your best friend. Eventually, this faking will become a thing of the past, and you will have found reasons to genuinely act nice.
Unfortunately, people dislike us from time to time. You might suspect someone hates you because of their body language or something they posted on social media. Don’t allow them to ruin your day because it’s just not worth it.
Hopefully, you now have some great solutions to deal with situations when someone hates you. If you feel hatred toward another person, try to practice forgiveness and patience.
Life is short, and too much time shouldn’t be spent on negative people or on hating others. Let’s live in peace and harmony with one another. In fact, the Bible encourages us to build one another up and not live in discord.
If you’d like more self-improvement articles like this, please let us know! We want to write more about what you love! Leave a comment and tell us about your experience with those who hate you or those you hate!
May peace and love follow you wherever you go in life!
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)